英语六级17分作文范文批改1

英语六级待批改作文：
　　In the contemporary society,people are invariablely faced with some physical problems.Despite the fact that our living conditions are improved greatly,we gained new hazard from the inside.
　　There are several reasons can cause these problems.It's self-evident that there is more work pressures in the modern society than before.Also,the lack of communication ability is the key.People today are more likely to stay at home,open the computer and surfing the internet,other than go outside with friends.It's definitely not good for the self-development,and it affects the health as well.Further more,the high level of unemployment rate,the less support from society and the fast life style all contribute to the psychological problems.
　　Our life owes a large debt to our spirit,on condition that nothing change,we'll never feel happy and enjoy the beauty of the world.We need a balance between life and job to escape from huge pressure,we need more contact with people and nature to obtain support from outside,and we need a healthy lifestyle to secure a positive mood.

　　英语六级作文批改如下：
　　In the contemporary society, people are invariablely（拼写错误，改为invariably）faced with some physical problems. Despite the fact that our living conditions are improved greatly, we gained new hazard from the inside.
　　There are several reasons can cause these problems. It's self-evident that there is more work pressures in the modern society than before. Also, the lack of communication ability is the key. People today are more likely to stay at home, open（用词不当，改为turn on） the computer and surfing（改为surf） the internet, other than go outside with friends. It's definitely not good for the(删除) self-development, and it affects the health as well .Further more（furthermore是一个单词）, the high level of unemployment rate, the less support from society and the fast life style all contribute to the psychological problems.
　　Our life owes a large debt to our spirit, on condition that nothing change,（改为句号） we'll never feel happy and enjoy the beauty of the world. We need a balance between life and job to escape from huge pressure, （改为句号）we need more contact with people and nature to（nature 是名词，不能当动词用）obtain support from outside, and we need a healthy lifestyle to secure a positive mood.

　　同学你好，你的英语基础不错，但是要注意标点符号的使用，在英语中，两个句子之间要么有连词，要么必须是句号，不能“一逗到底”。