英语六级5分作文范文批改1
2012-11-27 00:00:00 · 作者：编辑部
为了帮助广大考生备考，新东方在线为考生朋友搜集整理了2012六级作文评分标准及例文供大家参考，预祝大家顺利通过2012年12月六级英语考试。
英语六级待批改作文：
In this chat, we learn about that people use cell phone is increasing speedy. Compared with 1999, it is more than twice in 2002.And 2005 compare with 2002 is twice times. We pay attention to new electronic technology which has been used into cell phone. It makes that many function like surfing Internet, taking photos, playing games, handling works, storing up files into cell phones, which makes our life convenient. When a kind of technology has been produced largely, its cost will be reduced. So, we always can use the most advanced cell phones with suitable price. In my opinion, so much electronic equipment that we use everyday will be changed into one terminal, I don’t know what to call it, but it will have all current functions and we can’t image out functions.
作文批改如下：
In this chat（改为chart）, we learn about that (加the number of )people use(改为using) cell phone is(改为was) increasingspeedy（改为rapidly）. Compared with 1999, it is(改为was) more than twice in 2002.And 2005 compare with 2002 is twice times(有语病). We pay attention to new electronic technology which has been used into cell phone. It makes that many function（make …do是个固定搭配） like surfing Internet, taking photos, playing games, handling works, storing up files into cell phones, which makes our life convenient. When a kind of technology has been produced largely, its cost will be reduced. So, we always can（改为can always） use the most advanced cell phones with suitable price. In my opinion, so much electronic equipment that we use every day will be changed into one terminal, ｛I don’t know what to call it｝, but it will have all current functions and we can’t image out functions.（不能理解你的意思）
同学你好，你的英语基础比较薄弱，一个句子中只能有一个谓语动词。最后一段如果不会写你想要表达的内容，那么就要换一个你会写的观点，像你最后一段中提到，I don’t know…,这是在写作文，不要出现这么口语的句子，第二段开头要写一句，表明你下面要写的原因。
In this chat, we learn about that people use cell phone is increasing speedy. Compared with 1999, it is more than twice in 2002.And 2005 compare with 2002 is twice times. We pay attention to new electronic technology which has been used into cell phone. It makes that many function like surfing Internet, taking photos, playing games, handling works, storing up files into cell phones, which makes our life convenient. When a kind of technology has been produced largely, its cost will be reduced. So, we always can use the most advanced cell phones with suitable price. In my opinion, so much electronic equipment that we use everyday will be changed into one terminal, I don’t know what to call it, but it will have all current functions and we can’t image out functions.
作文批改如下：
In this chat（改为chart）, we learn about that (加the number of )people use(改为using) cell phone is(改为was) increasingspeedy（改为rapidly）. Compared with 1999, it is(改为was) more than twice in 2002.And 2005 compare with 2002 is twice times(有语病). We pay attention to new electronic technology which has been used into cell phone. It makes that many function（make …do是个固定搭配） like surfing Internet, taking photos, playing games, handling works, storing up files into cell phones, which makes our life convenient. When a kind of technology has been produced largely, its cost will be reduced. So, we always can（改为can always） use the most advanced cell phones with suitable price. In my opinion, so much electronic equipment that we use every day will be changed into one terminal, ｛I don’t know what to call it｝, but it will have all current functions and we can’t image out functions.（不能理解你的意思）
同学你好，你的英语基础比较薄弱，一个句子中只能有一个谓语动词。最后一段如果不会写你想要表达的内容，那么就要换一个你会写的观点，像你最后一段中提到，I don’t know…,这是在写作文，不要出现这么口语的句子，第二段开头要写一句，表明你下面要写的原因。
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