英语六级14分作文范文批改1

英语六级待批改作文：

　　The chart is used to illustrate the change that the number of users is increasing. It shows there were only 200 users in 1999, but it surged to 500 in a short span of three years. And in the next three years, the number is twice as much as it's in 2002.

　　There are two reasons to explain this phenomenon. At first, with the development of technology, the phones are lower in price and more plentiful in function. Moreover, the society and the relationship with others require you to use cell phone to keep connection.

　　It is convenient to keep in touch with others, especially in the modern world, you are always waiting the calls by your boss, your colleagues and even your friends who want to chat with you. It looks like a net which tangle you. I don't mean it is bad or something negtive, but remember, let your mind "escape" from the calls occasionally.

英语六级作文批改如下：

　　The chart is used to illustrate the change that the number of users is increasing. It shows there were only 200 users in 1999, but it surged to 500 in a short span of three years. And in the next three years(最好明确指出年份）, the number is(改为was) twice as much asit's(it was) in 2002.

　　There are two reasons to explain this phenomenon. At first, with the development of technology, the phones are lower in price and more plentiful in function. Moreover, the society and the relationship with others(删除) require you to use cell phone to keep connection.

　　It is convenient to keep in touch with others, especially in the modern world, （改为句号）you are always waiting the calls by（改为from） your boss, your colleagues and even your friends who want to chat with you. It looks like a net which tangle(加s) you. I don't mean it is bad or something negtive(拼写错误，改为nagative), but remember, let your mind "escape(加s)" from the calls occasionally.

　　同学你好，你的英语基础不错，用词等都很好，但是要保持时态一致。另外，第三段的时候，你用了tangle这个词，已经表明你的态度是negative了，可是你后面又解释了一下。在四六级作文中，尽量明确表明你的态度，否则判卷老师很有可能认为你没有自己的观点。